What Do I Need to Embody?
The people who are in charge at the top from the CEO on down have to be the ones first to let go of the question—how can we get people to do X?
Felicia Spahr: Felicia is currently an Artist at Felicia Spahr. She was previously a Leadership Coach when we first interviewed her in 2016.
At Forward Thinking Workplaces, we are discovering the people, insights, and strategies that lead to Forward Thinking minds, leaders, and workplaces of the future — today!
13 Forward Thinking Insights
- What Do I Need to Embody?
- What Do I Want to Be Flowing Throughout My Company Like Water?
- There’s Much More to Listening Than Paying Attention, Asking Questions, and Being Silent
- Listening From a Deeper Abyss Reveals the Right Information
- Everyone’s Looking to the Top for What to Do and How to Act, So if They’re Not Doing It, Why Would They?
- It’s So Important for Us to Get an Understanding of What Does It Look Like When I Press Submit?
- Helping People See the True Impact of Their Work Is Very Important
- Create the Conditions That Allow Better Insight Into the Right Questions
- What New Questions Would We Ask if We Viewed the Relationship as a Collaboration?
- How Can We Help Each Other Grow?
- It’s About Having More Heart in It and People Feeling Like They’re More Than They Could Have Been on Their Own
- Am I Practicing the Thing I Want Others to Be?
- Is the Thing I Want Others to Do That Important?
Question 1: How can we create workplaces where every voice matters, everyone thrives and finds meaning, and change and innovation happen naturally?
FORWARD-THINKING INSIGHT #1
What Do I Need to Embody?
I think that’s such an interesting question, especially the part where we talk about how these things can happen naturally. You can’t force something onto other people, so as I thought about this question, I thought a lot about parenting. Even though I don’t have children, I feel like there are many similarities there when you are a parent who is embodying the things you want them to absorb and learn. It is so much easier for the child to pick it up than if you were saying one thing that you wanted to teach them, but you were embodying something else. Children watch what you do, and they don’t necessarily take what you say at face value. Even though there aren’t five-year-olds running around in a corporate company, I think the same principle still applies. It’s so much more important to start from the inside out. That means that the people who are in charge at the top from the CEO on down have to be the ones first to let go of the question—how can we get people to do X—and start thinking about what I need to embody.
FORWARD-THINKING INSIGHT #2
What Do I Want to Be Flowing Throughout My Company Like Water?
What do I need to absorb and learn myself, so whoever is around me picks it up? And how can whatever I say to be completely aligned with who I am, and there’s no incongruence? I think that’s a place to start because I feel that this is something that’s forgotten. There are so many books about leadership and business, and a lot of it is somewhat tactical about getting people to be inspired, motivated, and productive. But there isn’t necessarily a lot of material about taking a good hard look at yourself and focusing on what are the principles that I want to teach. What do I want to be flowing throughout my company like water and how can I start living that right now? It feels counterintuitive, but I think it’s a better way.
Question 2: What does it take to get an employee’s full attention and best performance?
FORWARD-THINKING INSIGHT #3
There’s Much More to Listening Than Paying Attention, Asking Questions, and Being Silent
I like the question a lot too. I think it builds well on the first answer, which is starting with the change from the inside out. If you start there, then I feel like the next step in response to this question is taking the time to listen to someone. But I want to expand on what I mean by listening because it sounds very simplistic, and it’s starting to become a bit of a tired word. What I mean by listening is that it’s not just sitting down with someone and asking them questions and being silent when they’re speaking. My interpretation of listening is keeping someone in your heart. You’re not just paying attention to them when they’re in front of you; you are thinking about them. You are noticing small details that maybe someone else wouldn’t notice that give you clues about where that person is at.
FORWARD-THINKING INSIGHT #4
Listening From a Deeper Abyss Reveals the Right Information
I think this is so important—things that they can’t necessarily articulate. Maybe they’re not even aware of it. So I think with this kind of listening, you are listening in the deeper abyss of the ocean if you will rather than just listening to someone’s words—taking them at face value. I think that’s a place to start because it reveals the right information to you and gives you almost a map for how to develop a good relationship with that person and understand what they need.
FORWARD-THINKING INSIGHT #5
Everyone’s Looking to the Top for What to Do and How to Act, So if They’re Not Doing It, Why Would They?
I think one of the biggest reasons why it isn’t necessarily something that’s always talked about or focused on is because a lot of people say I don’t have time. I don’t have time to do that. I have this project, I have this meeting, and it’s sad because those things are the short-term focus where all the trouble and all the problems that come up could easily have been solved with a little bit of extra time in the beginning. That’s a principle that I feel isn’t necessarily always embodied, so people don’t do it. Everyone’s looking to the top for what to do and how to act, so if they’re not doing it, why would they?
Question 3: What do people really lack and long for at work?
FORWARD-THINKING INSIGHT #6
It’s So Important for Us to Get an Understanding of What Does It Look Like When I Press Submit?
I love this question too because I feel like it’s interconnected with the second question. When you’re deeply listening to someone in that way where it’s a much more ongoing thing than just a one-off kind of meeting is this idea of people feeling like they’re listened to and seen. I also hear this all the time is people feeling like they’re not making a tangible impact. Many people say they’re just sitting at a desk all day. They’re not sure where their work is going or who it’s impacting. They feel like as humans it’s so important for us to get an understanding of what does it look like when I press submit? When I hand this in when I complete this project, what are the after-effects of it? Because sometimes actually in most cases people don’t see that, so the impact feeling is very fleeting.
FORWARD-THINKING INSIGHT #7
Helping People See the True Impact of Their Work Is Very Important
Thinking about different ways you can help people see the true impact of their work is very important. I’m sure there are many ways this can be applied to all kinds of different industries. If you are a CEO or manager, you want to make sure employees have that feeling of this is good work. You want to show them and show them in different ways. What does it feel like? What does it look like? What are the long-term effects? Where is it going? More messaging on that so people can get excited and motivated, and take ownership of what they’re going.
Question 4: What is the most important question leaders should ask employees?
FORWARD-THINKING INSIGHT #8
Create the Conditions That Allow Better Insight Into the Right Questions
This question relates back to the listening part for me, so I think that’s the first step. I think that sometimes you don’t know where someone is. Maybe you haven’t got a good pulse check on them. I feel that when you listen and you use that to create a relationship that is nurtured with trust, the person feels like they’re in a safe space where they can talk about their true feelings. Then that’s the point where you get a better insight into the right kinds of questions to ask. I don’t think there are any one or two specific questions that are essentially important.
Question 5: What is the most important question employees should ask leaders?
FORWARD-THINKING INSIGHT #9
What New Questions Would We Ask if We Viewed the Relationship as a Collaboration?
I like this question because it challenged me in a lot of ways. There are so many questions you could ask. You could ask where is the company going. What’s the vision? What are we working towards right now? I think the number one thing that comes to me right now is that an employee should view their relationship with management as a collaboration. By that, I don’t necessarily mean—I’m on the bottom, and you’re above me—but a collaboration. The reason why I’m saying that is because essentially you’re all in it together and whether that’s something that’s embodied in the company is a whole other thing.
FORWARD-THINKING INSIGHT #10
How Can We Help Each Other Grow?
But just taking this approach allows you to start thinking about, ok, this isn’t just about me and where I should grow and what I should be doing. It’s taking the time to have these conversations of fostering deep relationships and conversations that are about how can we help each other grow. What are we doing? What can I do to help you that naturally allows for the other person to think, oh, what can I do to help this person?
FORWARD-THINKING INSIGHT #11
It’s About Having More Heart in It and People Feeling Like They’re More Than They Could Have Been on Their Own
It’s much less I’m just using my manager to get to the next level. I think it’s more of this is something much more sacred than just coming here every day and doing a task and going home. I think that’s something that’s missing. It’s about people having more heart in it and people feeling like they’re something better than we could have been on our own. I think that’s so important.
Question 6: What’s the most important question we can ask ourselves?
FORWARD-THINKING INSIGHT #12
Am I Practicing the Thing I Want Others to Be?
I think this question ties back to the first question well. I think sometimes we have our values and ideas of how people should act and how they should be. Whenever I get into that place, because sometimes we all get frustrated when someone’s not acting the way that we want them to, I stop, and I ask myself, “Am I practicing the thing I want others to be?” The answer is almost always I could always practice more. I can do it better. And if I practice it more and if I do it better then I won’t necessarily need to ask someone to do the thing I want them to do, I will be the living example. I think that’s such a huge part of how people learn because if they see that incongruence between what you say and what you do, then they won’t take anything that you say seriously even if it’s helpful.
FORWARD-THINKING INSIGHT #13
Is the Thing I Want Others to Do That Important?
I feel like the question here is, “Am I doing what I would want others to do?” That also opens up another question too, “Is the thing I want others to do that important?” Is it something that I should even be working on in the first place? I feel like these questions open the door for more reflection on what’s important to us.
What did you find most intriguing?
I invite you to share what you found most intriguing in the comments below. Sign up for free!
Every week you'll get insights and new perspectives to help you be a Forward Thinking leader and workplace of tomorrow — today!
— Bill Fox, Founder, Forward Thinking Workplaces